


All You Can Eat

by Sins_of_the_Scruff



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood and Violence, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:06:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sins_of_the_Scruff/pseuds/Sins_of_the_Scruff
Summary: Edge and Stretch have a completely normal no nonsense definitely safe for everyone* dinner date.*warning: definitely not normal, lots of nonsense, and most definitely not safe. possible choking hazard.*
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NSFW ficlet. Little rusty with both writing and sexual themes, but please try and enjoy nonetheless! Comments and Critiques are welcomed. :)

_ “I thought you said this was going to be a formal date dinner?!” _

Edge stood at the door to the apartment, feeling his temper start to rise as he looked around the dirty living room and onwards to what he could see of the equally filthy kitchen. The apartment looked like it hadn’t seen a good cleaning since the occupant first moved in. Which, considering that was Stretch, it was probably true. There was a clattering of pans and plastic tupperware from the kitchen followed by a quick shout,  _ “it is! don’t leave, i’ve got it all set up! just head on into the dining room and i’ll be there shortly!” _

Edge scowled, he had worn his finest silk shirts and slacks paired with his favorite silky cape for this. He glanced down at the floor to see that a path of sorts had been made for him. Beneath the dirt and muck that littered the floor, the faded red color of the fibers made it look like a literal red carpet had been laid out just for him. He sucked in a breath, letting his anger settle, and strode forward. He knew the reason for all the dirt was not sheer laziness, but an unfortunate matter of survival. He dared not to disturb it any further. The last time he did so, he saw a side of Stretch he never wanted to witness again and was nearly thrown from the balcony window.

The trash seemed to be taken care of at the very least. The pizza boxes, various clothes, and blood bags that littered the living room the last time he was here were mysteriously absent. He rounded the corner and stopped when he witnessed the scene before him. The dining room that was once home to heaps of junk was nearly spotless. The dirt that was in every room of the apartment was shoved haphazardly to the sides in piles, creating just enough room for a small little table and two chairs. It was honestly a little cute.

The table was plain, but clean, and had a rough looking table cloth pulled over top with a few candles lit. They appeared to be 3 different bath & body works candles giving off a unique twist of scents, but Edge could see that Stretch had tried his best to make a romantic space for the two of them. He dusted off the chair near the smallest dirt pile and sat down. The table sat next to the wide bay window, giving him a good view of the quiet neighborhood and the full moon. Stretch was still rummaging around the kitchen doing who knows what and Edge chose to take the time to straighten his shirt, making sure he was presentable.

_ “enough, edgelord, you’re handsome no matter what you’re wearing. though i think i would prefer you naked beneath me on this table. a lovely little dessert, undressed all for me. How does that sound?” _

Stretch was suddenly behind Edge’s chair, as if he appeared from the shadows, whispering and tickling a path up his skull. Edge could feel heat rise to his cheekbones and as he turned to offer a scathing rebuttal to save face, he was silenced with a warm kiss. Stretch always did have a way of shutting him up with nothing more than a simple kiss. He swore there were no vampire pheromones or trickery or whatever the Humans thought vampires’ power did, just good old fashioned charm.

As the kiss came to an end and Edge’s eye lights gained their clarity back, he looked up and down, his scowl returning as he took in Stretch’s outfit. Whereas he was dressed for a formal date, Stretch was in dirtied track pants with those awful buttons up the side. He didn’t even have a full shirt on, one of those nasty tank tops that he’d taken scissors to, saying he didn’t like too much fabric, made him feel like he was suffocating. Tough to do when you didn’t have any lungs, but Edge supposed he could get over it. He had his own standards of clothes that he didn’t expect him to understand either.

It was awkwardly quiet for a few moments. Enough time had passed for Stretch to realize his outfit was getting judged and he was definitely not taking home the gold. He held his hands up in a placating manner, _“easy! i still have to change into my date clothes. Didn’t expect you to be here so early, i was still cooking dinner.”_

Stretch waited until Edge looked less like a sparkler on the Fourth of July and more like the grumpy skeleton he fell in love with. He gave him another kiss, and stepped away to his room. Edge squirmed a bit in his seat, obviously more affected by his lover’s kisses than he thought. A flush returned to his cheekbones as other ideas began to creep into his thoughts while he waited.

A bit of time passed and suddenly alarms from the kitchen were going off. Edge awoke from his daydreams and tried to stand to attend to them, but found himself suddenly unable to move. The familiar hold on his soul was not aggressive, more like a playful grasp that held him immobile. A caress was felt down his spine and he shivered in the grip.

_ “nuh uh, lover. you just sit tight and i’ll gather everything. You are my lovely guest after all.” _

Another whisper from Stretch, this time feeling like it came from inside his own skull, Edge relaxed back down into his chair and felt the hold on his soul gradually leave him. Stretch’s voice then trailed from the kitchen and not the bedroom, he was obviously not bothering to walk, the lazy bum. A delicious smell soon wafted into the dining room and piqued Edge’s interest. He didn’t know what to expect from Stretch foodwise, but was assured it would be delicious. That could be dangerous based on what Stretch found delicious, but he trusted him.

Soon a plate with a cover was set before him, Stretch smiling as he pulled the top off.  _ “ta da! bone apple tea, Edgelord.” _

Edge looked down to see a nicely portion of filet mignon, mixed vegetables, and mashed potatoes drizzled with butter. The aroma was certainly delicious and Edge could feel his mouth start to water. This was certainly better than anything he thought Stretch was capable of. His glass was then filled with what appeared to be a red wine, the bottle looked vintage, possibly a century old or more. Stretch disappeared to the kitchen again, presumably to get his own dinner. Edge picked his glass up and swirled the contents before taking a sip, letting the wine mellow on his tongue.

Stretch returned and sat down, his meal greatly differing from what was set before Edge. The little flicker of irritation was mildly tampered with amusement. Stretch had indeed changed into his date clothes just as he said he would. Date clothes that consisted of a t-shirt with the mock up of a tuxedo jacket and shirt, complete with a rose on the lapel, and what appeared to be a child’s Halloween vampire cape??? Much too small, but surprisingly made the tuxedo t-shirt look better, and at the very least, dark and mostly clean jeans. He had washed his face and looked as presentable as he could be. Honestly, he looked as handsome as ever.

The food on Stretch’s plate on the other hand, was not something to wax poetically about. It looked like Stretch had gotten one of those absurd human children’s frozen meals and placed it into the oven. The clashing bright blue color of the partially melted tray with the less than appetizing chunks of what were supposedly chicken nuggets, congealed mac and cheese, and was that supposed to be a brownie?! Stretch’s meal was a total 180 compared to his five star plate. Edge nearly made a noise of disgust when Stretch picked up a small blood bag and ripped a corner with his teeth and proceeded to cover said nuggets with it and the rest went into his own wine glass.

Stretch looked to be in the middle of drawing a smiley face with his blood bag on one particular chicken nugget when Edge could take no more and sighed,  _ “Ugh, how can you stand to eat such...filth?!”  _

Stretch looked at his meal and then to Edge’s, letting a hearty laugh escape him.  _ “i guess i should have at least put it on a plate, right? that steak was already a pretty price and i don’t usually consume actual food, so why bother? only got this cuz the penguin on the front looked so cool, plus it came with powder that turns your mac and cheese green.” _

Edge didn’t have a response for that. Only a quick _“hmph”_ before quickly picking up his fork and knife to set to work on his own food before his appetite left him. The first mouthful of steak and vegetables left him nearly moaning out loud. He hadn’t had food this good...ever. He dug into more of the meat and relished how it seemed to melt in his mouth. Stretch was grinning, watching him gobble his food up and dunked a nugget, enjoying his view. Edge stopped for a moment, finally dabbing at his mouth with his napkin and smiled warmly at Stretch, a certain sparkle twinkling his eye lights.

_ “I am impressed, Stretch. The set up is lovely, the food is fantastic, and you, you look absolutely beautiful.” _

Edge felt his smile widen into a smirk as a rush of orange filled Stretch’s face, his faint freckles exploding like starbursts across his cheekbones. He really did look beautiful in the candlelight. Stretch ducked his head as he ate another nugget and pushed his now very green mac and cheese around. Edge let him soak in his compliments and went back to his own meal. He got to a particular tough portion of the meat and as he worked the knife through, it suddenly slipped and he winced as it nicked the tops of his phalanges holding the fork. The knife clattered to the plate and he brought his hand to his face to observe the damage.

A thin line of marrow had started to bubble up and the slight twinge pain set in, only a few points off his HP, barely noticeable. He grabbed for his napkin to blot it, but stopped when he noticed Stretch was staring at him. Stretch had gone still, his posture rigid, and the forkful of green mac and cheese notably forgotten. His gaze was solely on his bleeding fingertip, the orange pupils blown wide and hazy. The normally slightly sharpened teeth hidden from view were now extending down over his bottom lip. The fork clattered to the plate as he held the table in a death grip, his fingers gouging into the cheap wood.

Edge was no stranger to Stretch’s response. Blood from a blood bag was one thing, but blood from a live source was like an aphrodisiac, nearly irresistible to ignore. He waved his finger back and forth and watched with amusement as those wide eye lights followed.

_ “So, is dessert still on the menu?” _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sexy times ahead.

Stretch’s gaze broke from his finger and stared at him. A different sort of Hunger was beginning to cloud over his eye lights. Edge let a coy smile spread across his face and even before he offered his hand to him, Stretch was beside the chair holding his arm delicately. His mouth hovered over his fingertips, the beginnings of a tongue starting to manifest adding an orange glow to the darkened room. 

_ Stretch was breathing heavily, and whispered as he drew nearer to the cut,  _ _ “you know once the buffet is opened, it’s all you can eat, right?” _

Stretch never took without permission, a steadfast vow he had made to Edge when they first started this little relationship. Edge nodded and nearly swore as Stretch shoved the two fingers into his mouth and began to suck in earnest. His tongue wrapped around his digits, adding obscene noise as he took what blood he could get. Letting Stretch consume from him had become a certain itch for Edge, an itch that never really did go away the more time he spent with him. He loved the near madness that Stretch was lost to. He drank his fill, but always made sure Edge was safe and just as sated as he was by the time he was done with him.

The slacks Edge wore were definitely starting to feel two sizes too small, his magic beginning to manifest in his joints and just beneath his zipper. Stretch’s suckling was giving him ideas, but they had the whole night and so much could happen. The pain in his fingers gradually went away as Stretch released his fingers with a lewd pop. He sat on his knees and licked his teeth, a splash of marrow staining the normally white porcelain. The cut on Edge’s fingers was little more than a scar now, another of Stretch’s perks in that he healed in the same breath that he took.

_ “that was no dessert, a mere appetizer. now I want the main course.” _

Stretch moved in the next second, swiping the food off the table to crash to the ground. Edge soon found himself lifted off his chair and slammed back to the table, thoroughly pinned. Stretch wasted no time and bent down to kiss him, coaxing his mouth open to give him a little taste of his own blood. Edge returned the kiss with fervor, wrapping his tongue around Stretch’s and groaned softly as Stretch’s fingers began to wander. His shirt was gradually unbuttoned, Stretch’s digits painting fire across his ribcage with their gentle touch. 

Releasing his mouth from a searing kiss, Stretch peppered small kisses mixed with sharp nibbles down Edge’ neck and into the opening of the shirt, licking lines down his sternum. Edge could only stare at the ceiling as Stretch’s kisses went lower and lower until he was hovering over the top of his slacks. The button was flicked open as Stretch peered inside and his grin widened.

_ “ **Oh** , a change on the menu? You shouldn’t have, Edge.” _

Edge at first didn’t know what Stretch was talking about, but as his slacks were unzipped and the cool air of the apartment hit, his magic had settled into the soft folds of a pussy. He choked back a moan and squirmed as Stretch huffed a few frustrated breaths over the sensitive pseudo skin trying to wrangle the tight pants down to his knees. If Stretch was a little rougher in tugging them down, he didn’t have the energy to protest as that damned serpentine like tongue immediately snaked its way between his folds and explored every nook and cranny. 

Edge slapped a hand to his mouth to muffle himself when Stretch popped up. His eye lights flared as he firmly gripped his hand and pulled it away, snarling deeply,  _ “ **NO!** don’t you fucking dare hide from me, edge. I want to hear every sweet sound you make.”  _

Edge was taken aback for a moment, still not used to Stretch’s commanding tone, but nodded quickly. Stretch stared for moments more before kissing his hand as he let go and slunk back down to resume his feasting. Edge had no choice but to whimper pitifully. There was no purchase to the table so he ended up gripping around Stretch’s skull, holding and guiding him to where he could see stars with each lick. Edge could feel Stretch’s fangs nestled against his sensitive folds and he purred sending vibrations all the way up his spine. Stretch ate him out like he was a delicacy, making sure he was quaking and overwhelmed with need to come. 

_ “you taste so sweet, just like dark chocolate. Can’t get enough of this juicy cunt.” _

Edge stuttered out a moan at Stretch’s vulgar compliment, feeling his walls clamp down harder at his flicking tongue. His climax was building fast when Stretch suddenly pulled away just at the, heh, edge. The bliss that Edge was riding was swiftly taken from him and growled as he looked down to see why Stretch had the insane idea to stop. His words died on the breath as Stretch sat back on his knees and was furiously wiping away slick fluids from his mouth to then stick the hand down the front of his jeans and stroke himself. 

_ “ha...ha...s-sorry, just give…just give me a sec…” _

The orange flush had returned to Stretch’s face, the freckles shining even brighter as he hazily stared up at him, panting and slack jawed. Edge peered down to see him unbuttoning his jeans, pulling out what had to be the thickest cock he’d seen from Stretch. The head was glistening as the whole shaft seemed to throb with life. Stretch groaned as he fisted himself and tugged upwards, seeking his own pleasure. Edge’s own mouth watered, but well, that wouldn’t do at all if only Stretch was getting something out of this. 

Edge readjusted, sitting up so he could stare down at Stretch and spread his legs wider. Stretch eye lights widened as he watched Edge stuck two fingers into his mouth, coating them before letting them dance over his visible ribs down to ghost over his slickened lips. He shuddered as he made eye contact with Stretch and then plunged them into his quivering core. His cunt flexed and tightened around his fingers as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out. Stretch answered his motions with a growl as he matched his rhythm. For a few minutes, there were only slick noises and each other’s husky breaths breaking the silence.

_ “ah, fuck, this is hot. never thought your prude ass would be into something like this, but i guess the buffet always has a surprise hidden away somewhere.” _

Edge rolled his eye lights and winced as one of his clawed fingers rubbed a bit too hard and seemed to nick just inside, he pulled his fingers free and hissed as a trickle of marrow followed with a flush of fluid. Stretch’s eye lights shrunk to pinpricks and he snarled, suddenly tackling him back, testing the table’s sturdiness as he sucked Edge’s fingers back into his mouth before quickly lining him up and plunging into his cunt in one go. 

Edge garbled out a cry and grabbed onto Stretch’s arm with his free hand as Stretch gave no pause and began fucking him in earnest. Edge’s groans of pleasure rose to a scream as each pound of Stretch’s hips speared him open wider, deeper. Each thrust at that sweet spot had his vision wavering. Maybe he was crying, maybe he was blacking out. Stretch continued to thrust vigorously and growled possessively after releasing his fingers, _ “ya do this on fucking purpose. teasing me constantly. fuck, just look at ya, sucking me in deeper each time i try and pull out. can’t get enough of ya. fucking love ya so much.” _

Stretch was slamming his hips faster, making the table creak and Edge thought he was going to dust right there from pleasure. He pulled his hand back and snaked it down to pinch and swirl around his clit. They were both so so close, almost to that precipice of no return and Stretch groaned as he slammed home one more time….and then the front door was suddenly forced open with a loud crash. A handful of monsters poured in and Stretch hissed as he pulled out of Edge roughly and cursed before disappearing. Edge, still in a daze and twice denied a climax, came off the table in a fury. A fury that was quickly extinguished as something cold and wet was thrown on him.

**_“TAKE THAT, VAMPIRE HEATHEN. MAY YOU BURN IN HELL WITH THE REST OF SATAN’S SPAWN.”_ **


End file.
